Brendan McGinley

Apr 18

Fast Food: A Breakdown

ddietle:

Fast Food: A Breakdown

I wrote this for Cracked years ago, but it was a labor of love I never got paid for, so I don’t feel bad posting it here, too.

Fast food is popular the world over, but in America, we set the bar surprisingly low for quality and high for turning your ass into a quivering bowl of flabby Jell-O&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf(‘Trid


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Just The Facts
  1. Fast Food was started by Ray…

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Apr 14

Fuck you, huffingtonpost &#8212; I was five minutes away from watching this episode and you spoiled three seasons&#8217; worth of buildup in a goddamn sidebar headline next to an article about baked avocados. I&#8217;m going to buy stock in AOL just so I can vote against your entertainment editors getting a raise this year. 

Fuck you, huffingtonpost — I was five minutes away from watching this episode and you spoiled three seasons’ worth of buildup in a goddamn sidebar headline next to an article about baked avocados. I’m going to buy stock in AOL just so I can vote against your entertainment editors getting a raise this year. 

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Apr 13

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Sometimes I think I’m my own worst enemy. 

Then I calm down and realize it’s my evil twin from Earth-2, and only you and I can stop him. 

Apr 09

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3 Fan Communities That Hate Their Own Members -

startthemachine:

I wrote a column about how comic book and music fans hate their fellow enthusiasts more than anything else in the entire universe. To wit - I embedded a YouTube clip of one of my songs, purely for illustrative purposes and not at all to stroke my own boundless ego, in the body of the column. Within an hour of this article going live, I got a personal message on YouTube (a personal message, mind you, because I had disabled comments and made the video unlisted so the only way you can watch it is by getting the link through my column) that said “Your song is a true piece of shit. You have no talent whatsoever.” Hating it was not enough - this person literally could not go on with his or her life without personally letting me know that I didn’t deserve to make music.

Apr 08

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Who should win a Webby for Online Film & Video / Best Writing? Vote now. -

sorenbowie:

Hey, Cracked After Hours is up for a Webby for Best Writing. Please help us win by voting!

weirdshitblog:

Meaningful lives are like assholes. Everyone has one except for you and the crack baby born at 4am downtown last night.

Apr 07

caseyanthonyofficial:

Having to explain a joke is like going to prom with your sister

(via redteafox)

Apr 05

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Apr 04

I am, officially, a Cracked columnist!

Vilkommen, Herr Prada. 

luisprada:

After many months of auditioning, I finally got it. Today, I am a Cracked columnist. I’ve got a banner and everything. (Banner made by Winston Rowntree). Here it is…

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My first article is a non-list thing about my love for a terrible movie, Hudson Hawk, and the important lesson taught to me by my blind love of said shitty movie. It’s called:

One Valuable Life Lesson Hiding in One of the Worst Films

Enjoy it, and I hope you enjoy the many more columns to come.

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