I am Ozymandias. Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!
Tisquantum (“Squanto”) helped the Pilgrims despite getting kidnapped by an Englishman, sold to Spanish friars, and otherwise kicked in the nethers by life. #CrackedClassic
5 Facts About Thanksgiving Your History Teacher Left Out
Happy thanksgiving from me and this article I wrote.
Even if you can prove you’re right, you’ll never convince anyone by being obnoxious. That’s why, whenever I’m walking around a major city and a street preacher starts shouting on a megaphone or portable speaker, I immediately convert to whatever faith their religion hates most. —
Brendan McGinley (via cracked)
Hey, that’s me. Cool!
"These were the happy days, the salad days as they say.”
Some days I just want to cancel all my internet and hole up forever with the complete Love & Rockets.
Here’s the label for my home-brewed sarsaparilla!
There’s no such thing as bad Timony.
I’m dating a Whovian.
You never hear the “Bozo killed Kennedy” theory…making it therefore the LIKELIEST THEORY. Thanks for covering it up, New World Order of Illuminati Majestic Twelve (Codename: Aquarian) overlords.
monsterinthemaking45 asked: What would the woman version of Captain America be?
If chinchillas are Pikachu, their cousins the vascacha are Raichu.
…I am an adult man and barely understand any of those words.
We didn’t love Star Wars because we thought it was the beginning of a six-movie arc; we loved it because George “You’re all clear, kid, now let’s blow this thing and go home" Lucas was a young, energetic guy who, with a combination of luck and creativity, touched the hearts of literally millions of people across the world — something that 99.99 percent of people never even come close to accomplishing. And our response is to get angry when he fails to do it a fourth time? What kind of borderline psychopathic bullshit is that? Even porn can’t produce a boner every time, and that’s basically considered to be a blue chip medium.
My second ever column! I’m very happy with it.